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I need everyones help on this one..

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bleedngspidrleg

Wanderer
I need everyones help on this one..

Me and my gf broke up new yrs..she went to talk to a friend..and he took advantage of her..he took her virginity, and now she belongs to him. As many people know, girls feel they belong to the person who takes their virginity...we were together for 4 yrs, and we were saving it for marriage...shes moving away to another state with him in 7 days...i dont want to lose her..i honestly feel she is my other half..i need a "perfect" plan to try to get her to stay..and yes, i already thought of proposing, but someone ruined it for me by telling her. I need help..and im not one to ask for help often. This means the world to me..I would like to have my happiness back. Please help me. oh, and please dont tell me to forget about her, or cut her down..i cant deal with that atm..

Thanks..
 
C

Courageous

Wanderer
What I think you need to do is connect up with close friends and family members, and work through your feelings. No perfect plan will be forthcoming here. As guys we often think it is our duty to "do something", but this instinct does not always serve us. Nothing to do but to heal, and find yourself again.

Best of luck,

C//
 
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bleedngspidrleg

Wanderer
i dont want to let this go..not this easily..we were together for 4 yrs..4 yrs of happiness..up until the end..i needed my time to myself..and ive found out i cant live with myself..she means the world to me..
 
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WickedShedevil

Wanderer
When your heart has been broken and you feel like there is nothing that will fill it again this is when you realize that your friends and family have been and will allways be there for you. I am not going to cut this girl down, but maybe she made a choice and now you should. Sometimes in life we have heartache, everyone can tell you that it wont hurt for long. You might not believe this right now but you can only grow stronger as a person. My advice to you is to live each day as you can, and as each day passes it will hurt less. I am truly sorry for your loss, I have been there.
 
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WickedShedevil

Wanderer
You write beautifull poerty. I can tell you my honest opinion but I dont think you will like what I have to say. So the only thing I suggest is to talk to her thats the only scheme I can come up with. Sorry hun
 
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bleedngspidrleg

Wanderer
well, ive asked everyone i know, lol.. i figured you people are smart, and could quite possibly help. i threw her a "going away" party last night..and all that did was reopen my wound..she was acting like we were still together..

Any ideas on how to get her over here..?Or atleast to where she will talk to me..?
 
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Courageous

Wanderer
Any ideas on how to get her over here..?Or atleast to where she will talk to me..?

I don't think there's anything you can, or even ought to, do at all here. But since you are practically begging, I'll give it to you straight. If you have any chance, any chance at all with her at this point, which is incredibly doubtful, you have to get her into bed. Shut the fuck up about all these lengthy words and poetry and other crap. That's hopeless, a great way to pour kerosine all over your soul, and won't do anything at all but convince her to spend more time in bed with the other guy.

By the time a girl gives up and gives her virginity to another man entirely, one's chances of remedying this situation are so remotely hopeless that it bears little thinking about. Like I said, spend some time with your friends and family, live a little, learn a lot, HEAL, and never make this mistake again.

C//
 
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bleedngspidrleg

Wanderer
im not liking your answers, Courageous, ive gotten them from only one other person, my mom, and she didnt like her in the first place.. and i want a plan..and i originally said to not have forgetting about her in the plan.
 
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Courageous

Wanderer
Liking them has nothing to do with it. Now I'm done here, and have nothing further to say. So... proceed to learn the hard way. We all do. I know I did. It's like some kind of compulsion of the macabre, as we go through these fleshly train wrecks of our lives.
 
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bleedngspidrleg

Wanderer
i know thats an answer..but i cant...not yet atleast.. i cant just throw away 4 yrs..thats where morals kick in..

any plan that doesnt have to do with giving up?
 
Khaz

Khaz

Knight
What Courageous and the others are suggesting is definitely not throwing away the last four years.
 
S

Seanchen.net

Wanderer
bleedngspidrleg said:
sry, thats what it seemed like to me...please explain.
Click to expand...

You either decide to grow from this experience, or you decide to live life trying to get somebody who clearly doesn't feel the same way about you.

Its your choice, if you make the choice where you grow, and learn from this experience. You will become a better person, in the end, and by doing so will find somebody that feels the same way about you.

Of course you can go on living, trying to get somebody back, that might or might not feel the same way as you do. The choice is yours, and only you can make the choice.

There is no such thing as a plan to get somebody back, once their heart has started to crack, they cannot come back. Only your own heart can be fixed at this junction, and only can you find the fix to your own broken hear, she found the fix that worked for her.
 
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